A smile is something that you give away


Hi Baby. I guess we are at the same (dis)position again. Or at least me. I am in that situation I dread most. That something went wrong and that I do no know what. This is the point that you don’t want to see me, don’t want to talk to me, don’t want to even feel my presence. Just me.

With everybody else, it is fine. I see you laughing, smiling, giggling, happy… the moments I would like to be with you the most. Lalo na if I am the reason… me making you laugh, making you smile, making you giggle, and making you happy. But it’s not.

Sa laki kong to, gusto ko maging maliit, like a speck of dust. Or better yet, burahin ever lahat ng trace na I was with you, maglahong parang bula. Nanliliit kasi ako. How come I can never make you laugh, smile, giggle, or happy… at that particular time.

You see, hindi ko ganun kadali itago ang feelings ko, I am sad when I am sad, unhappy when unhappy. No smiles, no laughters, no giggles from me. Kasi affected ako pag may mga moments of disparity tayo. I am not that independent anymore. I need you.

But then again, a smile is something that you give away. But for you, I would even forget my smile, just to see you smiling, and happy… even without me.

Sadness. 😦

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