Being Strong…

May 26, 2008

“Being strong does not always require physical strength.”


May 24, 2008

“A wise man sees obstacles as they are, not as they appear to be.”

A reply for the boss

May 20, 2008

Dear Boss,

Thank you for waking me up via text. I know you know that this time, I am sleeping because our shift is using American time. What was your purpose in texting me instruction to rush things with regards to a vendor? You want me to wake up and call them again? And rush them about our concerns?

Then again you would ask me, why do I come in THAT late in the office? Do I have to answer that or do you already know the answer? What time do you want me to come in? 11pm? 1am? 2am? Fine, I’ll be there at the latest is 2am. But don’t expect me to be doing stuff AT HOME WHEN I AM SUPPOSED TO BE RESTING!

Am i complaining? Oh darn, I AM!

If this is supposed to  be a RUSH job, WHY THE HELL ARE WE BEING ‘COST-EFFECTIVE’? Meaning, why the h3ll are we sticking to the lowest price, but do not comply with your rush criteria, when there are companies willing to service our company, but at a premium? AM I REALLY NOT THAT BUSINESS CONSCIOUS? IF that is SOOO important, then WHY ARE WE WAITING?

Do you still see THAT WE ARE UNDERSTAFFED?! THERE ARE ONLY FOUR OF US IN YOUR TECH TEAM HANDLING 24/7 Operations. An Operation whose clients are freakin’ so darn stupid, that they freakin’ need us still with copying and pasting of stuff?

Oh, did I tell you that my back aches? That my knee hurts? That my ankle hurts? That I, because of pride, want to see a doctor ONLY IF WE HAD OUR MEDICAL INSURANCE? Oh, do we freakin’ have one?

Do you see I still do applicant interviews? In the morning, Manila time? WHEN I AM SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY WAY OUT based on the time frame you give?

Do you freakin’ realize, THAT I AM YOUR ONLY MANAGER THAT IS ON A ‘SHIFT’? All the other managers could be absent, or use their leaves. But then again, when I am on leave, I can not leave my phone! When I am sick and supposed to be resting, people in the office call me! And after being on a sick leave, I was on a freakin’ double shift! 18 hours, straight! Try to make your other managers do that!

Now tell me, am I being lazy? Am I being incompetent? If so, you are free to fire me!

Btw, thank you for waking me up. I need to drink my vitamins.

A smile is something that you give away

May 3, 2008

Hi Baby. I guess we are at the same (dis)position again. Or at least me. I am in that situation I dread most. That something went wrong and that I do no know what. This is the point that you don’t want to see me, don’t want to talk to me, don’t want to even feel my presence. Just me.

With everybody else, it is fine. I see you laughing, smiling, giggling, happy… the moments I would like to be with you the most. Lalo na if I am the reason… me making you laugh, making you smile, making you giggle, and making you happy. But it’s not.

Sa laki kong to, gusto ko maging maliit, like a speck of dust. Or better yet, burahin ever lahat ng trace na I was with you, maglahong parang bula. Nanliliit kasi ako. How come I can never make you laugh, smile, giggle, or happy… at that particular time.

You see, hindi ko ganun kadali itago ang feelings ko, I am sad when I am sad, unhappy when unhappy. No smiles, no laughters, no giggles from me. Kasi affected ako pag may mga moments of disparity tayo. I am not that independent anymore. I need you.

But then again, a smile is something that you give away. But for you, I would even forget my smile, just to see you smiling, and happy… even without me.

Sadness. 😦

Lady Independence

May 3, 2008

Hehehe. I fell in love with an independent woman. She does her stuff on her own. Sad thing is, she actually does not need me. But could she want me? Hmmm.. Good question.

In being so independent, I am having a hard time making her realize that I exist. You see, there are critical times (for me) that I simply vanish from her perception of the world. I do not exist anymore. Ignored. Plainly and simply ignored. Hahaha. Pag galit siya, she notices everything, but me. When looking around, she skips the view where I am in plain sight. Mag-iiba na lang ang direction ng tingin niya. Sa taxi, nakatingin na lang siya sa left side niya, staring out the window. Never will she look at me, ever, the entire trip.

Have we actually reached a point in this relationship (or whatever this is called) that she really wants me? That she loves me? Or that she even cares for me?

Hindi ko alam. Wala naman kasi siyang sinasabi… or tanga lang talaga ako not to notice it. Hihihi. 😀