The Emotional Rollercoaster


Haha. I am riding one. Darn. Haha. What can I do? I like her. I like her a lot. I love her.

There is not a single day that I think of her. Before I sleep. After waking up. In the office. During breaks. Lunch. Sigh.

There are days that we are ok. I take her out. We eat out. We have good times together. BUT, there are days when we are not. Like last week. Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday morning we ate brunch together. Hinatid ko sa kanila. We were ok. We were close. We even made plans for friday breakfast. Pares near the Pinaglabanan shrine.

The next day, something happened. I don’t know what. The group ate at Shakey’s Greenhills. We are at the opposite corners of the table. I can’t even talk to her. Then the ride home, we were three in the cab. I was at the front seat. Darn. Alalay na naman? Hehehe. walang kibuan. No smiles. No laughter. No nothing. Am i not trying that hard enough? I don’t get it.

We were supposed to go together to this Baptism of my friend’s baby this Saturday. But i got a text message from her Friday afternoon saying she has a family affair she can’t not go to. Ok, family first of course. Sure.

Saturday morning. She was in the pantry. I asked if she is going home. Sabay na lang kami. I am off to the LRT station near her place. I figure it would be much better if we could take a cab. It’s the same route anyway. She was forced to say yes, hehe. But later on I found out she was with another officemate. Sigh. Alalay na naman ako. Am in the front seat again. No time for talks, nothing. As per her, naiilang kasi siya na napapagusapan sa office. Ayaw daw niya ng attention.

Right now, cold text messages. No smileys again. No reactions. Every week na lang ganito.

Question Number 7: Hindi ba pwedeng magkaayos tayo? Something like we are technically close every day of the week. Something like column number two? Sigh.

It is not that I am complaining. Ako lang naman ang nanunuyo. Ako lang naman ang nanliligaw. Pero, subalit, datapwa’t. Hindi ko talaga maintindihan.

Hindi ba talaga pwedeng maging tayo? Sabihin mo naman. Para alam ko kung paano ako lulugar.

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