The Complication

December 27, 2007

Now I know what the complication is all about. Now I am sad. Naiiyak ako.

Goody goody talaga ako eh. Tama ka dun Fred and I won’t rebut. One side of me is saying this is it. I have to end courting Baby Boink Boink. Sinusuyo siya ni ex eh. Biruin mo. Hahadlang ako sa mahigit tatlong taon nilang pagiging sila. Sayang yun. Tatlong taon din ng saya at pighati ang mawawala na lang ng ganun. Parang ang pangit.

Galing na rin kasi ako sa ganun. Daisy and I were together for almost 4 years eh. Pinairal ko lang pride ko, hindi ko sinuyo. Ayun, we ended up separating. Wala rin naman kasi kaming common friends na tutulong sa aming magkaayos at magmature para maayos ang relationship namin nun. I wanted to remain idealistic, na wala na akong ibang babaeng ihaharap sa dambana bukod sa kanya. Eh kaso nga wala namang ibang tumutulong sa aming magkaayos at palibhasa pareho pa kaming bata, hindi rin namin kinaya.

With Baby Boink Boink’s case, now knowing the complication, I want to be both her friend and her lover.

Friend, so that magkaayos sila ni ex niya. Para matapos man ang kung anumang dapat tapusin o pausbungin ang dapat yumabong at mamulaklak. :). This will be painful. But if this will make her happy, I will really be happy.

Lover kasi I REALLY love her. Iba siya. Do I see myself spending the rest of my life with her? You betcha! Kahit magdildil ako ng asin, basta sya makakain ng maayos eh gagawin ko. Pero syempre kung mahal din niya ako, sabay kami magdidildil ng asin at kakain ng maayos. 😀

Ang sakit naman ng papasukin ko.

Baby Boink Boink, I hope the reason you are with me is because you are happy with me. Happy na muna ako sa 70/30 na love mo ko, na sinabi mo pang without the complication eh tayo na. Effort effort pa ko para maging 100 na iyon. Tapos hintayin ko na lang na mawala si complication. Hehehe.

I love you. I miss you. Naiiyak ako. Wabyu Baby. :*

Chrstmas Party and Taxi Cabs

December 27, 2007

Christmas and taxi cabs do not go together.

I hear people complain that it is really hard to get a taxi cab when you really need one, especially at the mall, when your legs are tired. And there are also drivers who complain, that they can’t seem to find the passengers they want. And there are drivers who just don’t care. They don’t take passengers, ask for additional payment, whiz by the queue, and even set their own prices. Darn.

Last Saturday was a story for me. I was taking Baby Boink Boink to the company’s Christmas party. So there I was, in a cab from my place to her place. I texted her that I was already near. To my surprise I got a reply that we should just meet in SM. She had to run some errands for her family. Huhuhu. That means I have to lose the cab, the comfort of already having the ride to the party. But it was Baby Boink Boink. Being with her is better than being in the cab and alone on my way to the party.

When we met, we have to pick the right place to get a cab. Question is do we really have a choice? We are in a mall. Lots of people. Where the ratio of taxi cabs is inversely proportional to the number of people. But I was with her. To wait is nothing.

It was more than an hour of waiting before lady luck shined upon us. A taxi pulled up and asked the first person in line where they were headed. The driver shook his head. That’s my chance! I shouted “Taft”. The driver asked “San sa Taft?” I replied “Padre Faura.” He nodded.

Yehey! Baby Boink Boink and me, on our way to the Christmas party!

Happy Christmas!!!

December 27, 2007

It was a happy Christmas in a way. I had the best surprise of my life. 🙂

Christmas eve is work night for me. I was in the office at around 10pm. I was to be all alone in the IT room from 3am-6~7am, until Wilfred arrives. When it was around 2:48am, Vic pointed towards the walkway out our door. And there she was. Walking towards our room. Carrying a white round object, her bag, and a plastic bag with some stuff in it. She was here. Inspiration was here.

Kaya pala.

Kaya pala she has been asking questions earlier that morning (24th). Questions like, may pasok ka nga mamaya? Sinong kasama mo sa IT mamaya? Anong oras ka walang kasama? Hanggang anong oras?

May plano pala siyang magpunta. Surprise pala niya sa akin yun. Sweetness. *sniff*.

The white round object was a sheep stuffed toy (her gift to me), in the plastic bag is a banana cake (sarap, daming nuts sa ibabaw).

Samalat Baby Boink Boink. Christmas would never be that much happy without you. You are the reason why I have a smile everyday. Wabyu. 🙂

Feel Good Music

December 20, 2007

I have always been a fan of Original Pilipino Music. Martin Nievera, APO Hiking Society, Eraserheads, True Faith, Parokya ni Edgar, Siakol, Yano, and Tropical Depression just to name some. There are albums (in tape) that my brother and I bought years ago as our music, our rebel music (if you can call them that). Tapes were bought in our early teens. Hehe.

There are album that we think are sulit. Like the first three Eraserheads album. The first Tue Faith Album. Yano’s and Siakol’s albums. Tapes that you can keep playing all day long without being nagsasawa. They have been my Feel Good Music.

Sa mga panahong ganito eh ang sarap balikan ang mga nakaraan. Ang mga panahong pa easy easy lang. NA mahihiga ka lang sa kama mo at titingala sa kisame. Magpapalipas oras sa pakikinig ng mga tugtuging magpapalakbay sa iyong utak. Sa mga lugar at panahon na ikaw ang bida. Na ikaw ang gitna ng daigdig. Na ikaw ang bida. Limot ang problema, limot ang nakapaligid sa iyo. Ikaw lang at wala ng iba. Walang pagiyak, pag luha, kahit pagtawa.

Btw, litening to True Faith while writing this. Muntik ng Maabot ang Langit. 

My Peace

December 19, 2007

I wrote a poem earlier entitled I Found Peace.

Peace means being contented with whatever is given, hard, but I have to.

Kapayapaan ng loob na hindi maghahangad ng kung ano at makuntento sa kung ano man ang ibigay. Mahirap, pero dapat.

I guess I have to be contented with the memories I have of her.

That picture left a lasting imprint on my mind. It was peaceful. A tranquil moment. Of her in my presence, sleeping peacefully. Enjoying the sight of her face, her nose, her cheeks, and her lips. Virtually the two of us. Of me protecting her. From the sunlight touching her smooth skin. My embrace keeping her from shaking.

I hope I could have more days like that. If only that moment could last a lifetime.

Hope and pray. Just some of the very few weapons I have in this war of emotions. 😦